Tuesday, December 2, 2008
When Julian was just a few weeks old, I thought I was going to have to give up breastfeeding. I did for three weeks and pumped exclusively. Three weeks of hell. After we got back to nursing again, four months passed of infection after infection and torn up nipples that wouldn't heal. It was terrible. Beyond terrible and I cried everyday. I hated nursing and he wanted to nurse all the time. Then I decided to try some neosporin on the nips and they healed up proper. I've had three more infections and/or clogged ducts since then, but for the most part nursing has been going fabulously. Had I quit, I never would have known the joys of nursing a toddler. Sure, babies are cute and nursing them is sweet, but toddlers are FUN! Julian can hardly contain himself when the nummers are coming out. Why on earth would he just lie there and nurse when he can flip and contort his body into new, exciting positions? He is usually either motorboating me in between sips or fondling my belly. He kicks his legs on whatever he can reach and flips over so that he slides way down, almost off my lap. He pokes my eyes out and plays with my hair. He generally just acts like a goofy little son of a bitch and I love it. I almost missed out on this. I almost missed cuddling in bed when he gets home from visits with his dad, when we just chill, nurse and reconnect. Julian will be 16 months old in a few days. In many ways time has gone by so fast. I know it really won't be all that long till he doesn't want or need to nurse anymore. One more year? Two? Three? All very short time frames. I still want to go till he is 35 and his fiance asks me to stop.